Friday, April 6, 2012

Letter "F" - Fledgling

For weeks, Death whispered the sweetest nothings in my ear:
End it all.  End the pain.
You're father can't hurt you anymore.
You won't have to watch your mother cower in fear.
No one understands you wear long sleeves to hide the bruises and the Goth look blends the black and blue into something trendy.
End it.  Now.

Slitting my wrists was the easy part.  Staying dead turned out to be harder than I thought.  There I was smiling.  My soul separating stitch by stitch, releasing the pain as Death promised.  Except my mom came home early from work.  She never came home early for work.  Ever.  To the hospital I went, considered dead for sixty minutes.  Then a beep.  More beeps.  Heart rhythm.  Unwanted life.

Father's visit pained me.  He stared down at me with bloodshot eyes, buttons of his shirt all wrong, a sneer on his lips.  I willed my heart to stop.  It beat stronger than ever before.  That's when Father Quanon showed up.  Surviving suicide is one thing.  Returning from death after an hour, well, that warranted a chance at a new life, which my father was all to eager to sign off on.  My mother, though she wanted to keep me, obeyed as usual.

Father Quanon took me under his wing, taught me the ways of the Cleansers, helped me to bury the pain into a deep dark recess never to return.  This also meant every other emotion had to be done away with as well, including love.

It's hard not to think about midnight sky eyes, especially with him missing for some days now.  I try to relax in the solace that I'm no longer a fledgling Cleanser.  Probation period over.  Being the best for the past two years gives me top seed to decide if or where I want to transfer to.  But I don't know if I want to.

I like it here.  I love my routine.

And those midnight sky eyes.
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Abby's really falling for a guy she's not supposed to interact with anymore.  What will happen next?

38 comments:

  1. I love the start. So powerful. I'm curious now as to what a Cleanser is.

    J.C. Martin
    A to Z Blogger

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    1. A Cleanser is a guide for lost and tormented souls. They shepherd those they can find to The Gates for judgment. They have to be equipped with the ability to fight because, well, they have to sometimes rescue these souls from Harvestors and their hell hounds.

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  2. how could you do this to me? I thought we were friends??! I am so incredibly busy and yet you post such a wonderful piece and stop me in my tracks.

    ACK!

    (btw, very cool)

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    1. *blush*

      We ARE friends! I'm so glad you enjoyed this piece and am blushing that it stopped you in your tracks.

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  3. The buttons all wrong on his shirt really jumped out at me, for some reason. Love all the little details your snippets have had.

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    1. These posts, each letter, has been a way for me to practice craft, to exercise something I've learned here or there. I'm hoping to get better at characterizing without info dumping by sharing little tidbits like the buttons of his shirt, the red of his eyes...things that show he has some problems without having to tell the reader a laundry list of his issues.

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  4. Awesome post. So powerful. Thanks for sharing.

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    1. Thank you, Natalie. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

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  5. Trading one awful situation for another.

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    1. Yeah. Kind of harsh. Going from one where she wasn't loved to one where she's not supposed to love.

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  6. Wow. Powerful. Can she break the rules?

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    1. She can, with a price...but it may be ridiculously steep.

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  7. Midnight Sky Eyes, Uh Huh, oh yeah - she'll stay. A very powerful sccene, Angela. I was rooting for her...

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    1. Please keep rooting for her. I have a feeling she's going to need it.

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  8. Love the "midnight sky eyes" -beautiful description!

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    1. Those eyes have been a fave. Glad you are enjoying the posts thus far.

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  9. Is this a query? Or something? Because it's good! Though I want to know what a Cleanser is. (A thought I had while reading, but I read the comment where you answer the question.)

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    1. Not a query, but like a blog opera about two people who meet and fall in love, except, well, neither of them are supposed to. A Cleanser is part of heaven's guard and a Havestor is part of hell's minions. Not exactly meant for loving each other. Yet Abigail and Basil have met and are seeming to fall in love. We shall see as each letter progresses.

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  10. Oh, what pain your character has suffered to do that to herself.

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    1. Although I can't say my life has been easy, I know there are others who have been through way worse than I could ever imagine.

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  11. Ooo Fledgling!! Great post I really just get lost in your writing!!

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    1. Aww. Thank you, Bonnie. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

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  12. Very intriguing! Are you doing snippets from your WIP for your A-Z challenge?

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    1. Thanks, Krispy. No, this isn't from any work I have. I thought up Abigail the Cleanser and Basil the Harvestor for the A to Z blogging challenge. My inspiration was/is Adele's song "Set Fire to the Rain", a theme of heartbreaking love between two who shouldn't be meant to be, but they love each other anyway. Each letter is another episode in their blog opera.

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    2. Love it! What a great idea. Okay, I'm going to have to go back and start from the beginning!

      (Also, great song. I just wish the radio would lay off and not play it to death!)

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  13. Fantastic piece, Angela. So powerful. I love your choice of words, "Slitting my wrists was the easy part. Staying dead turned out to be harder than I thought."
    And, "Goth look blends the black and blue into something trendy." Could this be the beginning of a new novel? A short story?

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  14. Thank you, Angela. Not a new short story or novel, just something fun for the challenge.

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  15. I always think of how writers can spin a book out of any little thing.

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    1. Thank you so much for checking out my post, Olga.

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  16. Wow, this really dragged me in. Great job, Angela.

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  17. Holy crap that was awesome! Great job Angela!

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    1. Thanks, Ali. This story is really developing with each letter of the A to Z blogging challenge.

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  18. Wow. Very vivid. Thanks for sharing your wonderful writing!

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    1. Thank you, Jaycee. So glad you enjoyed it.

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  19. "My soul separating stitch by stitch..." Love it.

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