Wednesday, April 11, 2012 | By: Angela Brown

Letter "J" - Journal

Dear Diary...Journal...Thing,

Sorry, not sure how I'm supposed to address you.  I didn't have one of you before.  Basil has inspired me, carrying his around faithfully, always writing in it.  Seems to calm him, releases his tension, freeing his beautiful smile to me.

Lately, I haven't felt I could be as honest as I should be with Father Quanon.  Just last week he warned me of an inquisition if I display disobedience two more times.  I don't know how they know, but somehow, my feelings are known.  Perhaps the very existence of emotions within a Cleanser sends a ripple through the ether, telling on myself to those in charge.

Something.

I fear the inquisition.  Not as much as I fear missing Basil's smile, the feel of his arm draped on my shoulders as we rest together on the couch.  The warmth of his breath against my neck when he leans down to hug me.  The scent of apples so intoxicating it sends my heart racing.

I must attend confession soon, visit Father Quanon, put on a facade.  Perhaps it will give me a day or two more with Basil.  Or the Elders may demand my presence immediately.  Either way, I can do now what I could not do when I tried to take my own life, accept my fate in peace.  If I am to die, so be it.  My feelings are wrong to the Society.  But not to my heart.  That is all that matters.

Thank you, journal, for listening.  I see a beautiful smile beaming at me.  Basil is here.  The coffee shop is warmer.  With what looms ahead, every moment is precious.
*************************************************

Even with a warning, Abby continued to disobey the ways of the Society.  What will become of her?

41 comments:

Cristina said...

"Not as much as I fear missing Basil's smile.." swoon!

SweetMarie83 said...

You have such a terrific writing style. I was so engaged, and you have me curious what happens to Abby now!

Tara Tyler said...

sometimes just writing things out, sorts things out =) love the ending too!

Angela Brown said...

Isn't it amazing the things we are willing to risk our very beings for?

Angela Brown said...

Thanks for checking it out, SweetMarie. The next letter in the challenge will tell more about Abby and Basil's situation.

Angela Brown said...

You're so right, Tara. I have found that even just writing out a letter expressing my frustrations, then tearing it up and tossing it to the trash, is a wonderful release, a sorting out of things.

Damyanti said...

I love journaling, but rarely find the time to do it.

Hope you’re enjoying the challenge so far!
--Damyanti, Co-host A to Z Challenge April 2012

Twitter: @AprilA2Z
#atozchallenge

J. A. Bennett said...

oooh, I am loving this, so fun!

Donna K. Weaver said...

*shivers* It's been so bad she tried to off herself?

Anonymous said...

I journal but in loose thoughts. I collect them at the end of the day and after a while I often put them together and actually have a chapter.

mshatch said...

This is so good.

Raelyn Barclay said...

Dear Diary...Journal...Thing -- LOL, love it. And, "Not as much as I fear missing Basil's smile..." Fabulous Angela! Loving your take on the challenge.

Angela Brown said...

Thanks, J.A. This has been a load of fun to do. Each letter is a change to exercise my writing skills, keep working at improving.

Angela Brown said...

Sadly, yes. She had a hard dad, a hard life. Trying to take her life led to her chance of becoming a Cleanser.

Angela Brown said...

Journaling is such a great exercise at doing just that: getting your thoughts down on paper or the screen. It's a great way to empty your mind so it is open to more ideas.

Angela Brown said...

I'm very glad you're enjoying this :-)

Angela Brown said...

Thanks Raelyn. I didn't do a lot of writing exercises before. But this has given me something to do to stretch my writing muscles. Get a more and more comfortable with having my work seen by others.

Sarah Allen said...

Ooh, so cool! I love the mystery :) You also have some really great names for your characters.

Sarah Allen
(my creative writing blog)

Angela Brown said...

Thanks, Sarah. The names, thankfully, were probably the easier task.

Jenny S. Morris said...

Hmm, I'm thinking Basil might be worth the Inquisition. ;0)

Jen from Falling for Fiction.

Leslie Rose said...

Love Amy's chutzpah and her lyrical thoughts. I can't wait to see how she navigates her upcoming challenges.

Angela Brown said...

Abby would be keen to agree with you on that :-)

Angela Brown said...

Decisions, decisions. Oh the choices that will have to be made.

Maria said...

Yay! Journalling is such good fun...

David P. King said...

I have this irrational fear that if I got out my journal, it would slap me mentally. That's what I get for not opening it for the last five years. :)

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

It's all about to come to a head.

Tyrean Martinson said...

I love that she's being true to her heart, and that is what matters most to her, and not her "fate."

Angela Brown said...

Agreed. I have have very fund memories of doing a lot of journal writing. It was so helpful.

Angela Brown said...

As long as the pages don't reach out and bruise first one cheek with a backhand then the other, then it should be okay. You can easily recupe from the mental lecture that pour journal would no doubt give.

Angela Brown said...

Hmmm...Alex...have you been sneaking into my mind and leaving no trace of your invasion? If so, you're good :-)

Angela Brown said...

Which is sadly, not something she was brave enough to do before she became a Cleanser.

M Pax said...

Now I'm very anxious for your character. Great piece, Angela.

Anonymous said...

Excellent... as usual. :)

Angela Brown said...

Thanks, M Pax. Each letter to come has something to come.

Angela Brown said...

Awww. Thanks Linda :-)

DL Hammons said...

The journals always hold all the answers! :)

Leigh Covington said...

OOOH! This is awesome and the last two sentences leave me completely intrigued. You're so talented!

Angela Brown said...

Very true.

Angela Brown said...

Oh, Leigh...you're too sweet. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Next letter, more drama.

Peggy Eddleman said...

I think that just the word inquisition strikes fear in people! LOVE this!

Shelley Munro said...

Another great post, Angela.

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