Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Where Life is Bitter and Sweet
Remember that this path is not smooth for everyone. Rocky moments aren't just bound to happen, they're what will make me better, stronger and improve more as a writer, if I choose learning over ignoring. I prefer learning :-)
For many of us, this road is filled with rejections, many we may heap upon ourselves because we do things like what I did: jumping the gun.
Olympics watchers see it. That perfect ready stance of the runner, muscles corded, tense, waiting for the starting gun. Then a second too soon, one runner jumps the gun and false starts, messing up the moment for all the runners.
Well, my false start didn't mess things up for other runners - or writers - but it did rattle my self-confidence a bit. For about a 24 hour period, all I could think was that my writing must truly be horrible, detestable even. I didn't show it to the world because they didn't deserve me taking it out on them. So I took it out on myself. I internalized my disappointment.
Oddly, a ray of sunshine came in the form of a critique of the work I false-started with. My CP tore into the story. Ripped it with great comments, questions and concerns.
And I loved it!
No, I'm not a masochist, but I recognize someone helping me when it's plain as the nose on my face. And I like my nose, just as much as I liked the critique provided on my work. Plus, some of the issues mentioned made me reconsider if this project is best served being self-published instead of trying to go through a publisher. So many words of wisdom sprinkled my critique that I knew she'd made every effort to make sure my work could truly reach full publishable potential. Which in turn means I provide my readers with a book I can stand by. Isn't that what every writer wants...along with the highly coveted NYT best seller status, movie deal and red carpet events that include a video game based on the characters of the novel?
The feelings of bitterness and sweetness are a bit much to bear at this time. For those who came back to see how I've done with my #writemotivation goals, please accept my heartfelt apologies. I'll do my best to address them in my next post.
No questions to end this post as I usually do. I just appreciate you listening to my little rant and whine. Now off to drink some Fuki plum wine, re-situate my self-confidence and get back to work. The road to publishness, after all, will not pave itself.