Tuesday, November 13, 2012 | By: Angela Brown

Speak Out Against...

Welcome to today's stop on Susan Oloier and Rebecca Green Gasper's YA booktour where they're promoting their novels, but more importantly, Speaking Out Against...various topics.

Personally, I understand the importance of speaking out. Because when I was in a position of being harassed by two young men...well, I didn't. And I should have. Hindsight is often viewed in perfect vision. When things are happening and you don't know who would actually believe you or risk doing anything given the situation involved persons of community and financial standing, well, in that moment, vision is blurred by so much crap.

Bullying is another topic addressed. We now have a National Month of Bullying Awareness so suffice it to say, it's a problem.

Today, I'm stepping ninja-style on my soapbox to speak about happily ever afters vs. not-so-happily ever afters.

My last name is not Brown by birth, rather, by choice. I kept it as part of the divorce. For those of you lucky enough to never have to go through such a travesty, you get the option to keep your married name or go back to your maiden name. I kept mine.

I earned it.

Not through any horrible physical abuses. Actually, the love started with a happily ever after in mind. I truly believed I'd found my soul mate. Not as a young tender thing out of high school with the scent of milk still fresh on my breath. And not as some biological countdown to "womanly doomsday". He and I loved deep. And I thought, "This is it."

But it wasn't.

After setting up our house, two cars, perfectly mown lawn and giving birth to Chipmunk, all we lacked was the white picket fence. Happily ever after seemed a reality.

But there are some things that just can not and should not be put up with. And so, happily ever after spiraled away from my grasp, a feathery dream I occasionally feel teasing my fingertips several years later...knowing what happily ever after was like. For my own sanity, I do not dwell on it, but I sometimes wonder if such a fantasy could ever happen again.

That no-so-happily-ever-after was but one chapter in my life. And I'm glad to have more chapters that follow, with my Chipmunk by my side.  Check out the topics addressed in Outcast and Break From You.

Susan Oloier



Outcast

Noelle dreams of a different life, one where Trina Brockwell doesn’t exist. Trina has bullied Noelle since junior high. Now she’s tired of it. With the help of her black-sheep aunt and a defiant new classmate, Noelle seeks revenge. But vengeance comes with a price: Noelle risks friendship, her first love, and herself to get back at those who have wronged her.








Rebecca Green Gasper



Break from You

Love shouldn’t hurt this much…Brooke Myers wants to believe she has it all: the perfect guy, the perfect relationship, the perfect life. She wants to believe it so much that she's willing to overlook the fear, the isolation, and the pain her boyfriend has caused her. She knows it isn't right but tells herself that love isn't always easy. However, when a fire destroys the restaurant during homecoming dinner, she forms an instant bond with the boy who saves her, one her boyfriend wouldn’t like. With the pain of a concussion reminding her of how bad things can get, she is forced to re-evaluate the relationship she has with her boyfriend and face the ghosts that haunt her. Brooke once believed love was all it took…but is it enough? Is it truly love when you've lost yourself in it?







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50 comments:

Huntress said...

Sounds like you got the best part of that relationship: Chipmunk.

*hug*

Ellie Garratt said...

I am so sorry to read this - I too went from believing in the happily-ever-after to waking up one day in late 2011 and realising there are some things we should not have to put up with. That probably makes it sounds like it was an easy decision - it wasn't. I still agonise over it now. But with every passing day it gets easier.

As Huntress said, you got the best part of the relationship! Chipmunk is adorable.

Angela Brown said...

Huntress, I'd have to agree 100%, even when she drives me crazy lol!!

Angela Brown said...

Righe, Ellie. It isn't easy an easy conclusion to reach, especially when that need for happily-ever-after to be real blinds you to accepting things that are no good for your spirit, your soul...the things that make you...well, you.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

I'm sorry it didn't work out, but at least you now have your wonderful Chipmunk.

Maria Zannini said...

Any time you have to deal with someone so intimately, you make yourself vulnerable. With the right partner, s/he protects that vulnerability. With the wrong one s/he abuses it.

Knowing when to move on is not only the hardest decision to make, it's the scariest. I applaud your (and Ellie's) courage.

Angela Brown said...

Having Chimpmunk has been the best.

Angela Brown said...

Ref: "Any time you have to deal with someone so intimately, you make yourself vulnerable. With the right partner, s/he protects that vulnerability. With the wrong one s/he abuses it."

So very true.

Susan Oloier said...

Angela, thank you so much for hosting us today. Oftentimes, there aren't happy endings (in fact there are tragic endings) for kids and teens who are bullied or the victims of teen dating violence.
I appreciate you sharing your heartfelt story, Angela. It shows that though the ending may not have turned out as your dreamed it, you still created a positive one for yourself. You and Chipmunk are so very lucky to have one another.

Susan Oloier said...

Most definitely! My kiddos drive me crazy sometimes, too :-)

Susan Oloier said...

Thanks for stopping by, Ellie. I'm so sorry you didn't experience a happy ending for yourself. I'm glad it's getting easier, though.

Susan Oloier said...

I love all the shout-outs Chipmunk is getting today. Are her ears ringing?

Rebecca Green Gasper said...

Angela, Thank you so much for hosting us on our tour today. And thank you for sharing your emotional and heartfelt story with us all. You are an amazing person.

And thank you to everyone for commenting and sharing your stories with us.

Angela Brown said...

You're welcome. It's my pleasure.

Angela Brown said...

Glad to be a part of the tour. Sometimes, sharing ones story can help others realize some things in their own lives.

Rebecca Green Gasper said...

So true!

Barbara Ann Wright said...

You came out the other side, and now you're stronger for it. Way to go, Angela.

cleemckenzie said...

Like my gram always said, "We grow from adversity." Your story shows how right she was.

Shelley Munro said...

It takes a lot of courage to realise/admit that a relationship isn't working and do something about it. As others have said we all grow under adversity and usually come out the other side much stronger.

Gwen Gardner said...

Walking away takes guts and makes you stronger. The self respect you get from it lasts a lifetime.

Gwen Gardner said...

Oh - congrats to Susan and Rebecca on their book releases!

sherry fundin said...

thanks for the post.

Rebecca Green Gasper said...

Thank you, Gwen.

Angela Brown said...

Very true, Barbara. What doesn't kill really does make you stronger.

Angela Brown said...

Thanks, C Lee :-)

Angela Brown said...

So much truth to your words.

Angela Brown said...

Gwen, I have the rare occasion where I wish it wasn't necessary, then something always reassures me I made the right decision :-)

Susan Oloier said...

Thank you, Gwen. Congrats on your recent release, too!

Cecilia Robert said...

I think HEA are real. It just takes some of us a little longer before we get there. I'm going through the same thing at the moment. It's exhausting, but I'm blessed to have my two babies, who give me my happy ever after--maybe for now or later. :) Walking away is the hardest thing, but sometimes, circumstances demand it. :)

Angela Brown said...

You are welcome :-)

Angela Brown said...

I've seen some folks that have that HEA. It is certainly real. I'm glad to have my Chipmunk because she's just too cute sometimes lol!!

M Pax said...

That was three very powerful stories on this page.

I'm not sure if anyone gets through life unscathed. I've always been the fiesty type ... confrontational, I fight back. That doesn't always work out well either. But we are who we are, and I think we find happiness when decide it's AOK to be who we are.

Susan Oloier said...

I'm the fiesty type, too, Mary. It doesn't always work out well, but it's just the way I am :-) Glad to know there's another person like me out there.

Angela Brown said...

All the things I've gone through in my life have made me stronger as a person, extra sassy in some senses (lol!!) but I've gained a better love of me, which is a good thing.

Linda Jackson said...

Thanks for sharing your story, Angela. I know a lady who kept her married name even though the ex asked for it back. She asked him, "Who do you think you are? Ike Turner?"

Amy Saia said...

Good for you for standing and speaking up for yourself, Angela! Nothing to be ashamed of in thatxxxx

Angela Brown said...

LOL!! That is where I got the "I earned it" from. Nothing like what Tina went through, but for me, reverting to my maiden almost denied that time in my life. That time meant something and the last name was a part of that as well :-)

Angela Brown said...

That's the great thing about this tour. I hope it is encouraging to someone else having difficulty deciding to speak up for themselves.

Arlee Bird said...

I know how that happily-ever-after dream that doesn't happen works. I've been through 2 unwanted divorces of my own and I think divorce is one of the worst things one can go through. Fortunately each successive marriage got better and now my 3rd seems to be surviving. I hope so. I'm too old to have to go through another divorce.

Like your own story shows, the happy endings are still out there for us. Sometimes we just have to write them ourselves.

Lee
A Faraway View

Michael Di Gesu said...

Hi, Angela,

Nice to meet you. I enjoyed your post very much. Life definitely has it's ups and downs and sadly people change, BUT our capacity for LOVE is greater than any force to be recon with ... so never give up, LOVE may be just around the corner and it happens when you least expect it.

Angela Brown said...

Third time's the charm :-)

Angela Brown said...

Nice to meet you as well, Michael :-)

Love is certainly a beautiful thing. Whatever happens, I'll just enjoy as I go :-)

Candilynn Fite said...

Congrats ladies on your book releases!!

Angela, you're a strong woman and the perfect role model for your Chipmunk. Just look at you! Standing your ground, doing what is best for you and the Munk, accomplishing goals, chasing (achieving) dreams, and showing her how to become the best person she can be. And I'm sure if you asked her, she'd tell you, you're the best rockin' mama in the world. :))

Angela Brown said...

Thanks, Candilynn. That is so sweet *blush*

Susan Oloier said...

I love how postive you are, Michael.
Definitely enjoy as you go, Angela!

Susan Oloier said...

Thank you so much, Candilynn!

Mike Keyton said...

There's a novel there, I'm certain

Mary Preston said...

Your post struck a chord with me. I found myself looking back at me & mine.

Rebecca Green Gasper said...

Thank you, Candilynn!

Cherie Colyer said...

Sometimes Happy Ever After just doesn't follow the norm. It's great that you have Chipmunk.

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